This is the first time in 4 years that I have spoken to a medical professional who understood everything, it seemed.
Let's begin with access: his nursed pushed me along the carpet --- carpet is a shoulder buster and most folks just watch me ache, creep along, and struggle.
His office had a table that i could transfer to. First one I've seen in four years.
He ordered tests no one else has suggested:
bone density
pulmonary function
ultrasound of kidneys
because sitting in a char affects all of these
He's WORKING ON GETTING ME AN IN HOME THERAPIST
When i pulled out the STANDER literature he praised me-- yes that was something he envisioned me using to prevent osteo_____ something.
I told him about the Flexiciser, he waited for me to follow him (uber points for that, too, treating me like I am a grown up who can go from point a to b) and showed me something VERY similar, a leg moving machine.
Then show me the heated hydro therapy pool that i could be lowered into--- if i could get transport there, which i can't with regularity SOOOOOOOOO he said our goal is to get me driving and help me transfer into my car....
Why don't all doctors have dentist chair type tables? In that they go low enough for someone from a wheelchair could possibly get on.
He said where we are is backwards and that he had brought that accessible table with him.
I think i love this guy-- who SHOOK MY HAND. which just reminded me how i have not been treated well at all, but maybe this time I can really be on the road to help and healing.
He praised me and celebrated me saying he was delighted to have a patient who was motivated. ME? YES!!!!
He had read my file and knew i was a vegetarian and food conscious and so understood my desire to lose weight was about raising metabolism, NOT telling me about not eating stuff that hasn't touched my lips for 40 years.
I left with 3 appointments already set up for me--- this has NEVER happened before....
my last blood test was at my OWN insistence. I think I've found a REAL DOCTOR.
My bus driver, who I like a lot (but hadn't been getting because his firm declined
medical rides for a time) knew this doctor and also praised him.
All praises for hope and change!
____________________________
A total instance of answered prayers, because I've said the same things to the same human beings,
so frequently, it's like having a stand up routine. But who listened? No one, really.
This is my fifth year of TM and my third year home and only now did my neurologist refer me to a
physiatrist. The PA and GPs could have.
Last time I had PT in 2008 and as devotedly as I went and adhered to it, I was disappointed. I asked the therapist about other devices and other tools ( a stander, leg machine). My work there was mat work. Because that's all they had for me.
It turns out that was the SATELLITE office for this BIG facility. It makes me want to cry.
This therapist was known to the physiatrist. When I was BEGGING, bringing material,
and explaining what I thought I needed, the therapist and facility said this is all they had. Which was NOT true.
You can't ask the question unless you know the question to ask. I did a good job of
guessing, but in a system based on physician referrals, unless you're wealthy
and can purchase in home care and equipment, you are at the mercy of others whims
( or level of attention).
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Friday, August 17, 2007
Max Roach Ascends
O! listening to Terence Blanchard on NPR I just heard that Max Roach died!
MELODIC MAGIC Man
socially conscious innovator
creator
I last saw him playing with Toni Morrison reading and Bill T. Jones dancing at Lincoln Center.
It was transcendent.
I first heard him in my mother's womb.
I am so grateful he was here.
I called my Daddy to mourn with him, to celebrate with him.
I told him Max had been sick, in hospice, that he was 83.
My Daddy taught me so much so much he shaped me, gave me ears, playing Max and Clifford Brown and dizzy and Miles and
MJQ and sonny rollins and Ben Webster and neary every name I know he taught me. He was a connoisseur of all things hip which in those days, were deep, spiritual and rigorous. And losing Max feeels like losing family, someone Daddy dug that I dug them too, then and always, because Max went out ( as in music) as I grew up. And I was demonstrating for freedom and agitating and his music affirmed all of that and more.
O Max! Thank you so much so much so much for creating such connection
and making the bright hot cool light of our yearning
and dreaming and striving,
manifest.
Bless you.
MELODIC MAGIC Man
socially conscious innovator
creator
I last saw him playing with Toni Morrison reading and Bill T. Jones dancing at Lincoln Center.
It was transcendent.
I first heard him in my mother's womb.
I am so grateful he was here.
I called my Daddy to mourn with him, to celebrate with him.
I told him Max had been sick, in hospice, that he was 83.
My Daddy taught me so much so much he shaped me, gave me ears, playing Max and Clifford Brown and dizzy and Miles and
MJQ and sonny rollins and Ben Webster and neary every name I know he taught me. He was a connoisseur of all things hip which in those days, were deep, spiritual and rigorous. And losing Max feeels like losing family, someone Daddy dug that I dug them too, then and always, because Max went out ( as in music) as I grew up. And I was demonstrating for freedom and agitating and his music affirmed all of that and more.
O Max! Thank you so much so much so much for creating such connection
and making the bright hot cool light of our yearning
and dreaming and striving,
manifest.
Bless you.
Dead Man Falling
Someone died at 475 East Broad Street Midtown Manor
My neighbor saw his brains splashed on the ground
after we returned from the special shopping run
provided by medical motor services
I had just directed her attention to the courtyard . she's new here and I was telling her what a lovely place it is during the day. How quiet and peaceful.
and she said o i thought i saw a body there
she did see the body and more
and she alerted management to the death just outside their office window.
When she went to tell the manager she was told "I'm on the phone, I'm busy"
this is such a time and place of despair. was it the environment or the person
personal tragedy?
He couldn't have been pushed says the maintenance guy because the balcony rails are 4 feet high.
He didn't live here, he just came here to die.
He may have been shot and pushed someone else said. When they finally turned him over , two
hours later after lying with his brains splattered on the concrete, when they turn him over the coroner
a she, jumped back I was told.
It's not just the brains, it was the stomach or pelvis, gut spill.
the police had said he may have jumped from the balcony on the 12th floor...
is the door always open they asked me after knocking urgently on my door
more often than i like i said
because i have a sign asking that the door be kept closed to keep the bugs out
i digress.... someone either jumped or was pushed today between 1015 and noon.
by the afternoon i learn i was not from my balcony but higher up. The cleaning lady saw his body fall past her as she ate lunch on the 15th floor.
Debbie on the second floor heard him hit, thought it was a gunshot.
Why was it left for Katharyn and i to see, I don't know. Had it happened only moments before? We were the last to enter from the shopping group as I in the wheelchair am the last one unpacked and unloaded and she waited with me... In fact I had even checked my mail first before pausing at the elevators to gesture toward the courtyard.....
this early evening i called Lynne to see how Katharyn fared and we decided to go downstairs to the site-- i with prayers and sea salt for cleansing and she with incense. She had already lit and left a white candle and there was a white rock with a wreath of leaves and her candle, burning, invisible to the eye but visible in the glass and this i saw with discomfort was right in front of the rear entrance.... the wide glass entrance
and people tracked right through his blood and flies still buzzed and i saw the wavy white lin of salt
i had cast as i rolled and prayed.....
we spoke with Dolores a tall long bowlegged woman like a walking sculpture with pink and white nails and a short thick fro an african bracelet on her ankle she was distressed and knew that Sam
the deceased had attended East House, a program not a place and that he lived in Savannah Gardens, the units facing Midtown Manor that framed the courtyard and her plump pretty little girl contributed a small branch to the shrine and then a woman who looked to me to be in pain but who smiled named Sabrina came. She had many tiny teeth and was dressed all in black .
she had placed the stone and had come upon the dead man and had watched the fireman spread his blood with their hoses, sadly she said washed up on the building.
She asked me if I was Wiccan. LOL! and she appreciated how there were three women holding wake
making peace in the space.
I worried about the young mother who had seen him fall. Dolores said these young people treat it like watching a movie, not like you or I. after i had suggested that maybe the young mother might need to see someone after seeing such horror.
I spoke of my godmother, a woman I loved and respected and admired, who losing her sight, wrapped her head up and leapt. She had been a psychiatric nurse and so I guess her brains weren't spalltered to hosed off the sidewalk.
Did the children now thronging the courtyard see. Dolores was concerned that no one had tracked Sam... someone should have been in touch with him, I confessed that I had considered doing the same thing but remained, if only because so many worked so hard for me to be here even in this half life.
Last night i had not slept well. Jacquie told me the same. What good is prescience, if we could not act, send out comfort, put out the fire of despair, discomfort that woke us in the wee hours.
Though Sam lived in Savannah, I head he came to Midtown Manor to say goodbye to a friend on the 18th floor. Who was it?
Sabrina thanked us. We thank her for her good intention. She thought it might have been a friend of hers, she couldn't tell from the bashed up body. But the detectives told her no it wasn't.
She said she wished she had met me earlier. Earlier than what I wondered. I asked her if she was in pain and she said yes, but she was blessed because she could still walk, unlike me.
Too true.
My neighbor saw his brains splashed on the ground
after we returned from the special shopping run
provided by medical motor services
I had just directed her attention to the courtyard . she's new here and I was telling her what a lovely place it is during the day. How quiet and peaceful.
and she said o i thought i saw a body there
she did see the body and more
and she alerted management to the death just outside their office window.
When she went to tell the manager she was told "I'm on the phone, I'm busy"
this is such a time and place of despair. was it the environment or the person
personal tragedy?
He couldn't have been pushed says the maintenance guy because the balcony rails are 4 feet high.
He didn't live here, he just came here to die.
He may have been shot and pushed someone else said. When they finally turned him over , two
hours later after lying with his brains splattered on the concrete, when they turn him over the coroner
a she, jumped back I was told.
It's not just the brains, it was the stomach or pelvis, gut spill.
the police had said he may have jumped from the balcony on the 12th floor...
is the door always open they asked me after knocking urgently on my door
more often than i like i said
because i have a sign asking that the door be kept closed to keep the bugs out
i digress.... someone either jumped or was pushed today between 1015 and noon.
by the afternoon i learn i was not from my balcony but higher up. The cleaning lady saw his body fall past her as she ate lunch on the 15th floor.
Debbie on the second floor heard him hit, thought it was a gunshot.
Why was it left for Katharyn and i to see, I don't know. Had it happened only moments before? We were the last to enter from the shopping group as I in the wheelchair am the last one unpacked and unloaded and she waited with me... In fact I had even checked my mail first before pausing at the elevators to gesture toward the courtyard.....
this early evening i called Lynne to see how Katharyn fared and we decided to go downstairs to the site-- i with prayers and sea salt for cleansing and she with incense. She had already lit and left a white candle and there was a white rock with a wreath of leaves and her candle, burning, invisible to the eye but visible in the glass and this i saw with discomfort was right in front of the rear entrance.... the wide glass entrance
and people tracked right through his blood and flies still buzzed and i saw the wavy white lin of salt
i had cast as i rolled and prayed.....
we spoke with Dolores a tall long bowlegged woman like a walking sculpture with pink and white nails and a short thick fro an african bracelet on her ankle she was distressed and knew that Sam
the deceased had attended East House, a program not a place and that he lived in Savannah Gardens, the units facing Midtown Manor that framed the courtyard and her plump pretty little girl contributed a small branch to the shrine and then a woman who looked to me to be in pain but who smiled named Sabrina came. She had many tiny teeth and was dressed all in black .
she had placed the stone and had come upon the dead man and had watched the fireman spread his blood with their hoses, sadly she said washed up on the building.
She asked me if I was Wiccan. LOL! and she appreciated how there were three women holding wake
making peace in the space.
I worried about the young mother who had seen him fall. Dolores said these young people treat it like watching a movie, not like you or I. after i had suggested that maybe the young mother might need to see someone after seeing such horror.
I spoke of my godmother, a woman I loved and respected and admired, who losing her sight, wrapped her head up and leapt. She had been a psychiatric nurse and so I guess her brains weren't spalltered to hosed off the sidewalk.
Did the children now thronging the courtyard see. Dolores was concerned that no one had tracked Sam... someone should have been in touch with him, I confessed that I had considered doing the same thing but remained, if only because so many worked so hard for me to be here even in this half life.
Last night i had not slept well. Jacquie told me the same. What good is prescience, if we could not act, send out comfort, put out the fire of despair, discomfort that woke us in the wee hours.
Though Sam lived in Savannah, I head he came to Midtown Manor to say goodbye to a friend on the 18th floor. Who was it?
Sabrina thanked us. We thank her for her good intention. She thought it might have been a friend of hers, she couldn't tell from the bashed up body. But the detectives told her no it wasn't.
She said she wished she had met me earlier. Earlier than what I wondered. I asked her if she was in pain and she said yes, but she was blessed because she could still walk, unlike me.
Too true.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Little Spiral Star Tree Ornament
I need some gift-ettes and thought-- I've got some wool-- I can felt some stars for trees!
This whole process took about 20 minutes--- from crocheting through felting. It's adorable and
feels affectionate.
Little Star Tree Ornament
Make loop( aka magic ring), 5 sc in center, sl st to first sc,
2 sc in each sc, join to first :10 sc
Change yarn, in any sc : *sc, dc, trc, sc, skip sc* repeat: 5 points/petals. sl st to first sc, fasten off.
With contrasting thread up through center hole, sl st in spiral, grabbing vertical threads of sc.
(I'm going to use a spiral sl st in a lot of plain centers --- inspired by this at Gourmet Crochet
After crocheting, I did some tugging to pull the points...if i could, I would have steamed this flat first.
I then "finger felted" it --- ( place Little Star under hot water in sink, a dab of dish washing liquid and rubbing between palms and on scrubby. I then tugged on the points, reshaping it rinsed in cold water and pressed to damp dry.... again if i could, I would speed this drying with an iron).
I don't have any ornament hangers, but I will make one using some brass wire that it have: I'll make a spiral and then a 90 angle,poke it through a point and then make another spiral/curve at the top.
I'll put up a picture as soon as it dries a bit.
By the way-- it works unfelted, too.
Joy in the making,
Akua
This whole process took about 20 minutes--- from crocheting through felting. It's adorable and
feels affectionate.
Little Star Tree Ornament
Make loop( aka magic ring), 5 sc in center, sl st to first sc,
2 sc in each sc, join to first :10 sc
Change yarn, in any sc : *sc, dc, trc, sc, skip sc* repeat: 5 points/petals. sl st to first sc, fasten off.
With contrasting thread up through center hole, sl st in spiral, grabbing vertical threads of sc.
(I'm going to use a spiral sl st in a lot of plain centers --- inspired by this at Gourmet Crochet
After crocheting, I did some tugging to pull the points...if i could, I would have steamed this flat first.
I then "finger felted" it --- ( place Little Star under hot water in sink, a dab of dish washing liquid and rubbing between palms and on scrubby. I then tugged on the points, reshaping it rinsed in cold water and pressed to damp dry.... again if i could, I would speed this drying with an iron).
I don't have any ornament hangers, but I will make one using some brass wire that it have: I'll make a spiral and then a 90 angle,poke it through a point and then make another spiral/curve at the top.
I'll put up a picture as soon as it dries a bit.
By the way-- it works unfelted, too.
Joy in the making,
Akua
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Leaves
For that they shelter yet fall
fall and cover
save from rain
rain they sift down
dry water
becasue they effloresce
as dying flame some
their last days
because their name is
stands for single thing
a page or many and
departure because
so much has left
i miss my catalpa. She leapt large and survived that first year's attacks to produce leaves bigger than my head.
What is she like now i send her my love and my apple tree too....
I've been designing leaves and now have some woold to evolve Aku's furled and fluuffy fflower patterns with to make the
multiflower and leaved scarf....
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Gifts for the Givers
Here by the Grace of God, I am. The flying fickle finger of fate pointed and I am hobbled, cracked in half, rolling rolling rolling along. I am busy busy busy making making gifts for those who kept me alive this year, whose efforts on my behalf kept me alive. and ooooo i ache so again i pray this burning twiching numness means awakening, but I don't know.
I've been making bracelets and flowers and designed an eyeglass case/ Cellphone case for the step mum who reveled that she is a gree person.
How did i miss all these calls to make things to give to the needy babies. My head is so sensitive to heat loss, I have designated one of my hats as my sleep hat. The Save the Children organization is sponsoring a charity knit/crochet project entitled Caps to the Capital. Warm caps to keep babies' heads warm and needed medical supplies and interventions can help lower the death rate among newborns. The caps will be mailed by January 2, 2007 to Save the Children. "In January, Save the Children will deliver caps, along with the notes, to the President in Washington, D.C. to demonstrate that Americans want to do more to save the lives of newborns around the world. All the caps that have been donated will then be delivered to newborns and families in countries where Save the Children works."
Now the All Crafts for Charity folks got me started and It took SEVEN phone calls before I got through to the Golisano Children's Hospital... sure reminds me of why people don't volunteer this was an incredible round of phone tag for the person to tell me to just drop by--- which i cannot do.So finally she gave me the adddress to mail things to: Neo NatalIntensive Care Unit Golisano Children's Hospital at Strong, 601 Elmwood Avenue, Box 619-334 Rochester, NY 14692 She said they need everything: botties, hats, blankets...
Friday, December 08, 2006
Looking, Learning, Designing
I've been thinking about leaves and scarves and developing a (new for me ) leaf pattern.
It's a maple leaf. I've got a new flower in process, too. I'm working on a leafy, viney scarf
pattern, but I'm tugged toward freeform.
Amazing as I completed objects to be given away, I got a gift... a wonderful box of yarns, hooks, candies and needles and angels from CA in Montreal. Merci mille fois, ma chere! I've been dining on these felt creations
http://www.feltfaction.fi/ENG/hats.php?page_num=1&showimage=yes&img=74
Elina Saari is so compelling--- I want everything I see and the pictures from her workshops are
so exciting. You can tell they worked with souls alighted there, the energy leaps out of the pictures
http://www.feltfaction.fi/ENG/process.php
I've been working on a reindeer and then saw this and was annoyed at my own literality
http://www.feltfaction.fi/ENG/other.php?page_num=1&showimage=yes&img=6
http://www.feltfaction.fi/ENG/other.php?page_num=1&showimage=yes&img=19
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Re/Purposing
I was given a huge white Granny square and its accompanying white yarn. A neighbor's mother saw my sign asking for stuff and brought in her mother's? sister's? hooks and this one square and white yarn. She looked to young to be his mother and I was so touched when he asked if it was me who had posted the sign and introduced me and she explained how this person was no longer able to think/pay attention enough to make anything. So this repuposing is a wonderful arc of giving.
I made the square an envelope/pouch and picoted all around it.
I liked the efficiency of this pattern the best. Seamless:
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/quick-bootie.html
I read several patterns that suggested using worsted and G hooks even this said I or J!
I think I ended up with the right size using worsted weight and an E. I did all the sc in the back loop because I think someone on the All Crafts for Charity list said that gave the bootie some elasticity.
I amended it a bit more by adding two rows of my favorites picot:( sc,ch2,sc in the same stitch)
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/tinybooties1.html
I also thought this was a great pattern, too!
Also seamless,it just seemed to work up a bit too big for preemies....
I made a simple white hat that also has this picot edging.
So gee, a set is made!
It occurs tome that this is something that this troubled city might do more of-- maybe there's a way to organize people to make things locally--- and the Red Scarf campaign in January--- red scarves for orphans at college --across the U.S,
sounds wonderful... but it would be cool to teach some young folks to crochet and make things for themselves and make things to give to needful others, the poor preemies, the homeless---but I'm still struggling to find a niche for my work, and a way to again create a way to make money. but oh, I'm not going to let go of this glow just yet,
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Flying Hooks, Healing Heart
My crochet hooks and yarn are my glass of wine. And they are what they are and they are also stand ins for the many things I got to make so easily, now out of reach. Though today, 65 degreees in November, the apartment just aglow with painterly light, Garrison Keillor's skewed crooning like a familiar friend, like my father and family just singing around the house and not caring how good it sounds, ahhh Garrison, thanks for telling the world to sing just because it makes peace more possible....
I digress, becuase I wanted to write about creating, such as it remains for me. After a long wait, the inexpensive wire cutter arrived... a three-week wait for tools I already own, (bad E-Bay seller!) but no longer can bound up stairs to get,,, my heart calls out to my tools, stay ready for me, wait for me, I want to use you again.
I am vetting my flower pattern. I second guessed myself and realized I had it right the first time, but then created a variation on the flower: 10 petals. this crowds it a bit, but it increases the twirl.
And now I have at last 3 hats to keep my head warm and attractive and it's up to 60 something! No complaints, it's easiest to wheel through sunshine and warmth than it is snow and rain.
All praises for winter not arriving until December 22,
for light filling the shortened day. For the kindness of strangers who included me in their vegan Thanksgiving family gathering which was so so so exquisite and heartful and warm and fun and delicious and o! what joy to be able to and desirous of eating every good and dleicious thing offered!!!It's been over a deccade since I've had ice cream and the soy turtle and vanilla bean with pumpkin pie almst made me sob with gratitude. How I misss being able to cook, I was so good at
plaeasing mine and others' palates and since being stricken, I've starved for decent food, having lost over 50 pounds at last reckoning, because I refused to eat drek in the nursing home. This was food to give thanks for.
My gratitude to those who wrote me about the blue flower, after so much tapdancing on my head, I cherish every kind word and the affrimation that I can add value to the world, despite my limited circumstances. I am amamzed at how limitless I once felt "bigger than my body gives me credit for" (that yummy song by John Mayer) and I guess I still am. Thank you!
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