Sunday, November 12, 2006
Another Blow Another Blessing
So wham bam I've been fired. Though the terminlogy was "the position will be terminated, blah blah blah" I was struck as to how I've been working for a fraction of what I earned in my past incarnation as a corporate citizen, with resources a fraction of what I had as a corporate maiden, with multiples of the effort as I was always putting out fires or trying to find a match. Yeah wildly mixed metaphors as I know now the extent to which I have been used abused and then er dismissed, my decency and committtment counted on --- or worse yet not even counted on, as this outrageous turn of events occured even as the
invitations to a major event had just arrived and sat at hand.
I was advised kindly to just leave the last lap to be run by those who remain: 2 other part timers and the big guy. And there is that about me that just wanted to wash my hands of it, and my energy has been very low, I'm tired and have to continually
relinquish the thoughts of the future--- next year is today in my endeavor, but I have to curtail the mental self talk about the
stuff I need to respond to and put in palce for the future now--- ad and publication closings are now for the spring in some instances and let it go let it go let it go.
I haven't had a vacation this year, and the only days off have been our holidays-- labor day and independence day so December
I get to catch up? not. I'll have to hustle.
Toward the gentle hustle, I've created more dolls and designed a flower whos pattern i hope to sell er, that i hope someone will buy, as I researched online and couldn't see any that did quite what i wanted with the dimensional rose form.
When i came in to the building and ran into Jim delivering my mail from home, hours away, saw Dorr the flower arranger, who creates beauty in the lobby; and went to visit Donna, the older lady with a beautiful wise faced tabby girl cat who gave me gorgeous cotton yarns, a book with several ideas, big handsome buttons and who liked the flowers i had made for her, by way of thanks for her other gifts...
she offered to a solid soleplate iron, which i craved so much last year, to iron paper.
The next day I got gifts from my wonderful angel friend and dry humor woman, Andrea in Chi-town and a bag of books
I'm saving to open from writer friend Robert and I see this as the universe saying don't cry,dear, here is some beauty and love.
And so yes, yes, thank you thank you o love o love that plays wondrous jazz on the radio and there's Ornette Coleman still creaing and sonny Rollins still creating and yikes! I tol myself I would be playing my tenor with ease by 50 and can I learn to blow sitting down?
Just need to walk again.