Monday, June 26, 2006


Karen visited, bringing me two bouquets of roses.
The red ones had a peppery scent,
the white ones' fragrance was
nearly peony with rose water. A white wave of citrus
coiling around tea. Reminding me of the rose petal candy
I made as a preteen.
I extended the bouquets to both cats.
Obi, my pointy African cat, sniffed and sniffed.
It slowly dawned on me and shook me shook me shook me
that these were from my yard.
Now as then, my rose bushes would gift me
with blooms in time for my June first birthday.
She also brought me a big bouquet of water mint,
lemon balm and spearmint.
These were from my yard.
The lemon balm a gift from her land, the mint, my parents' mint
that I had worried over and now is rooted all over the space
that was to hold vegetables.

i relish the scented green and mourn that they have had a season to go wild in the yard,
without my yanking, my pruning care.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Saturday/Proud of Me

I'm proud of me. I am washing my clothes and saving $40 so that i can buy some art materials.
$40 being the 2 hour minimum that I had to pay for the home health care aide.

I am exhausted.

a 90 degree day but here it feels just like the high 70s because there is a great breeze flowing in and around the apartment--- in the bathrrom window and the the bedroom window and the living room window... too bad i can't reach the kitchen window, it would be fab...

I went to the building's rummage sale and bought spoons to make again my mixed media dolls, found a lovely ceramic-framed mirror and a hand-held mirror, a pair of purple pants, a sheer, flocked top, all this for $3.50!

i made two trips to garbage, grateful that after months i found a way to get rid of it myself, though i don't have the advantage of the ambulatory, to use the grabage chute on each floor, i must roll and elevate down to the lobby and roll into the ever wet or obstructed garbage and recycling room, but yes! to keeping the small apartment free of all debris

couldn't reach the token slot for both of the accessible machines down on the 8th floor, the only front loaders in the building...
i even broke a token trying to push the slot in. it popped up as i was pushing and split in two. that left me trembling with fear... as i already had clothes in the machine and baking soda in and had poured the liquid detergent in the detergent slot.... but i got it in the second time

so i had to do one load at a time and remembered from lost time with the home health aides, that the dryer by these accessible washers on the 8th floor, dries slowly, poorly, though the washers are superior.

and so i lucked out.

When one wash was done, i put the other in and brought my clothes back upstairs to dry in the dryer outside the door. Proof of the 12th floor dryer's efficacy-- it dried one big load -- my 5 pairs of black pants and mainly black tops and the things i bought at the rummage sale-- a sheer top and a pair of purple pants-- and partly dried the subsequent load of towels and bedding....

and wow I'm almost done! almost like a good old Saturday, sleep late, clean and destress.

Friday Blood

I had called the clinic 3 days in a row as it had been weeks since my last blood draw.
And after the last draw, when my IR levels were low , the nurse had said the doctor wanted to re check me the following week--- that was nearly 3 weeks ago.

For the 3 days i didn't get the nurse, i had left messages. One of these days i got a another nurse who said she didn't know how to transfer my voice message and that i should call back again the following day argh!

anyway the nurse for my doctor and suite said well they had tried to do a blood draw but i wasn't there.

When did they come?
did they tell me they were coming?
did you tell me they were coming?
Can i know when they are coming?

The answer was no they could come any time.....

does this sound at all familiar? Just like the stupid apothecary-- i'm supposed to be available whenever they come.

then the nurse berated me about my cell phone number and how i should change it ( because of my out of area area code) She launched into a lecture, which i totally tuned out. Unless she gave me the phone and paid the bill this was just totally out of bounds. This after
saying she found it hard to get in touch with me. I said not if you use my cell phone number as the cell is always with me , but i am not always by the phone.

Anyway we went round and round. they could not tell me when they were coming, they would not call my cell etc. etc. I had missed them when they came on Wednesday, not that i knew they were
coming when they came, t i was in bed cathetering myself when the bell rang and rang. I got up quicker than i ever had but by the time i got to the buzzer, the person was gone.....

She said they had called ahead, I said no they hadn't. and if they had I would have been ready to answer the door.....( and if they had called ahead and gotten no answer, why would they be there ringing the door)

Anyway she went on and on about what is wrong with your door bell...she said this accusingly 3 times.I didn't answer her at all. In fact i zoned out and feel more about it , recounting the insult
than I did in the moment, because ultimately i still need her to work for me, insulting, abrasive idiot that she is.

Anyway in a fit of pique she said here's their number call them yourself!

I did and spoke to a calm nice woman named Dana. I told her my constraints-- I'm paralyzed and in a wheelchair, i try to work a bit each day, etc... Dana resolved it happily in about 3 minutes!
They would do the blood draw in the a.m. at work.

The blood draw woman called me at 10:30!!! to tell me she would be there at around noon! the exclamation points are because wow! someone called me to tell me when they were coming, ( of course this had not happened before at home... ) and so much for getting there in the a.m.

The blood draw lady, One Shot Shirley said i made her day. She made was a good stick, it was a butterfly and it didn't hurt going in or coming out and the after pain is now gone.... yeah I've had sticks that hurt all day ....

She thanked me for being pleasant. The feeeling was mutual.....

Before me she had seen someone in a "high place" who acted low.
Anyway the nurse called and I lost the call LOL! i was keying something in and on the phone and I fumbled my cell when i went to answer it.....

Reply to Snide Letter from Horrible Highland

Dear Mr. R.
Thank you for your letter which does indeed clarify a number of things.

Let me also clarify several misconceptions:

1. Your policy of lack of reattempt was not shared with me before this situation of intransigence(!!!)
2. I did not wait til Friday to ask about/for my meds!! Friday was after the
Wednesday call to find out why they weren't delivered Monday Tuesday or Wednesday!

3. I am paralyzed and in pain. I cannot come in and have no one to pick up the drugs for me, so it is grating to read:
"We have always toid people who need deliveries right away and have missed the delivery for that day are more than welcomed (sic) to come in or have someone pick them up"

4. "Please do not be so condescending to my staff, they are here to help you"
I wish they had, as I said I am paralyzed and in pain and must make multiple phone calls and negotiations to get my meds. I was not told there were delays in fulfillment! And the last time I could not get my meds I had to engage PDQ to pick them up for me.

I am grateful that at last, they are here.

Horrible Highland Apothecary

Your system is hostile to those of us dependent on it for delivery
1. I am not informed when a prescription may be delivered
2. Once attempted, if delivery fails , it will not be re-attempted

In my case I was not informed delivery was attempted.
No card was left.
I was told that the driver was unable to leave notice.
This is ludicrous and crazy.
I live in an apartment building, an edifice that has surfaces on which anything might be affixed, or a note left.

3. So un-notified I could not know that delivery was attempted and request that it be re-attempted.

I called LAST WEEKEND expecting my refill on MONDAY!

Today is Friday and I am out of my drugs.

I was asked if I had someone to pick up my drugs.
I found this just short of insulting.

If I were not PARALYZED and had had someone to pick up my drugs, I would have done so, days ago.

I had to enegage PDQ last month as I was out of wafarin and faced the intansigence of your hostile system.

Will I be reimbursed? -- nope.
Will I ever get my drugs in a timely manner?
How far in advance do I have to ask in order to be able to get them?

Can you fix this?
I want to be able to have my drugs delivered without paying additional emotional and monetary fees.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Happy Birthday

Gifts from the Universe:

the gebera daisy plant received back in February while at the nursing home, blossomed again today, gifting me with a deeply orange flower

the jazzblues station broke its tired streak: a happening set culminated in a tune whose opening chords were familiar, that sounds like Purple Rain I thought and sped out of the moment thinking someone had appropriated it to segue into something else. Nope. Ahhhh!!!! Etta James delivered Purple Rain and my spirit lifted, and I sang along, finding my voice again

Breathing without assistance

Moving without pain

Life's ever unfolding possibilities

With Love, Light, Healing,and Gratitude